My Sons then went to their rugby training session on Sunday, yesterday, and while they were training there was a game going on in the u13's where we (Bourne) got well and truly hammered by Lincoln. And believe it or not, I could see similarities in the way Lincoln played, with the passion, organisation and commitment that I had seen the day before by the Aussies.
You're probably wondering what on earth this has got to do with learning to drive. Surprisingly perhaps, an awful lot.
If you happened to see Helen Flanagan last night on "I'm a celebrity get me out of here" you might know where I'm going with this blog. She had previously failed to earn her camp mates one single solitary meal on any of her previous 5 trials.... not a sausage. The mood in the camp went from a very understanding and supporting one with lots of hugs and commiserations to a very hostile one of 'get out there and win us some meals', because they were by then getting extremely hungry. If you had seen the young lasses face last night as she was overcoming her fears and habitual urge to opt out when the going gets tough, you would have seen a person who was 'in the zone'. The result was that she earned the maximum amount of meals, and the elation she felt afterwards, when she realised she had overcome her fears and succeeded was inspirational.
The reason why I'm mentioning these examples, is because they demonstrate how powerful our minds are. It is easy to overlook this incredibly important point. I recently had a Learner on my Intensive Driving Course who initially was breaking down in tears. When we dug deeper about what was happening, she was angry with herself, the last thing she needed or even wanted was support and empathy, she wanted help to focus on overcoming her driving issues, and she well and truly did exactly that. The lass on Day 1 was not the same lass on Day 7 - it was an inspirational journey for both of us, that week.
I appreciate that not all of us are necessarily sports people, and none of us are celebrities going on shows in Australia, but managing the mind to overcome fears, focus on the task, and persevere to find success is something that will chime with each and every one of us.
In my world, that just happens to be unlocking pathways in the mind to allow people to learn to drive. People come to me literally shaking sometimes. They are trembling with fear, anxiety and stress. Others will not shake, but internally they are a mush, they will feel sick, perspire, their head will be fuzzy, and they forget to breathe, as they are so engrossed.
So what do you need to do if that is how you feel about learning to drive?
The first thing to do is embrace the opportunity. By that I mean, don't fight the challenge, actually live for the moment that this challenge brings. Accept it. Find a means by which you can convert that nervous energy it instills in you, and channel that energy into actions that are helping your cause. Remove from your mind any feelings or internal voices that are telling you that you will fail, and giving you a 101 reasons why you will not be able to achieve the challenge. Literally do not allow those thoughts to fester in your mind and zap your energy. Instead surround your personal world with energy fillers, things that inspire you. That can be visual pictures of what success looks like for you, thoughts of what actions will result when you succeed, networking with people who are either in the same situation as you, or have succeeded. You need to regularly feed your mind with constructive actions that slowly but surely lead you to passing your test. By regularly I mean, at least 5 positive actions per day.
Let me give some real examples of what I mean:
When you are next a passenger in a car, observe the driver, look at what they do, ask them what they are thinking while driving, and what they are looking for. You will simply be amazed how helpful people are when you start taking an interest in what they do. Look what the hands are doing, look what the feet are doing. Do you know what every action is for? If not.... ask! Get involved, engage. Why are they signalling, when do they need to check their mirrors, have they got any tips?
Use free resources to fill your mind with good information. Boy is there a lot of good stuff on the internet. When I just look at what I provide alone: there are free driving videos on my YouTube channel ("2010BIGTOM") that Learners and Driving Instructors over the UK view, there is information on cheap insurers on my driving Facebook page, there is essential information on the Driving Test standard on my blog, there are visual presentations for Learners freely available to see on my Prezi page, there is a Q&A forum on my G+ just for Learners to network and help each other. And that is just in my own small world, there are far bigger fish out there in the driving training world than me I can assure you!
My point is, accept and engage. Cancel out negativity with hard positive actions, not wishy washy stuff that doesn't mean anything. Helen Flanagan worked really hard mentally last night, such was her desire to succeed, and that effort then converted to pure ecstatic elation. And this is what success does. The path isn't easy, only a fool would pretend it is, but there are many things that you can positively start doing TODAY to help you succeed. And let this blog be the first 'dig in the ribs' to get you on the path to mental positivity.
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