The ability of driving instructors to empathize varies enormously. The noun empathy is: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person".
Notice the word "ability"? This is a skill. We don't change careers and come into the world of being a driving instructor with a natural ability to empathize. People come into this industry from a wide variety of backgrounds including some where there was no previous expectation or requirement to demonstrate empathy to another. So this is not a given, and we would do well to stop assuming that just because we are in the training industry, often working 1:1 with pupils that therefore it is assumed that we will show empathy. Not so. This is a wake up call. Really, not so.
My role here is not to rubbish or demean all the good work going on out there, or to generalize all instructors and place them in the "requires improvement" category. But if you have had any thoughts or discussions that reflect a mood of frustration directed at your pupil's progress or driving ability then you would really do well to start looking at yourself rather than wasting your time expressing your judgemental views upon others.
Have you taken time out to reflect on the experience a pupil goes through when they learn how to drive? For the sake of your own CPD I thoroughly recommend you do. Put aside 30 minutes from your busy schedule, find somewhere quiet, and over a coffee jot down some thoughts. Do a mind map on it if you like - model the behaviour that you would be encouraging your pupils to develop when training with you.
What you will see if you really start to think about it deeply is that there are many factors that will affect the experience a pupil will encounter, some of these factors are self-generated, and others are externally thrust upon your pupils. Without wanting to appear in any way patronising or insulting to my reader, I would like to emphasize that your pupils carry around with them a deeply complex emotional baggage of thoughts and feelings that are forever evolving. It would be naïve bordering on arrogant to assume that as a driving instructor you can overlook this point due to it being irrelevant or insignificant. How your pupil interprets events when training with you will be deeply personal and you will be doing your pupils a disservice to not make attempts to understand their feelings.
I put it in that way because the easy, lazy thing to do would be to second guess. Second guessing is the root of all evil in the driving training world. Instructors do it though for a number of possible reasons. They think they are so experienced they don't need to ask, instead, they prefer to tell their pupils what their pupils are thinking. Asking questions would require some thought as to how to structure the question in a meaningful way. Asking a question would place an expectation on the pupil to think and answer; some instructors would feel very uncomfortable making their pupils work in that manner and fear their pupil would not return for more training. Asking questions might unearth any number of different responses and some instructors would feel very uncomfortable allowing a driving lesson to sail into unchartered territory where the instructor is not controlling the course it takes.
So I really do get why an instructor would prefer not to stray down this path of meaningful engagement with pupils that personalizes the training, and if you have the courage to accept you fall into that category, then you have just taken the first step towards self-improvement; many instructors would be unwilling to accept any weaknesses on their part on a matter of principle.
Pupils can be self-conscious, inexperienced in learning practical skills, over confident, unaware of the need to focus and concentrate for lengthy periods, easily distracted, unwilling to share beliefs, fearful of inconveniencing anyone, unable to recognise danger, self-critical, frightened of failure, unashamedly arrogant, unable to analyse obstacles to learning. By inviting your pupil to learn about what makes them perceive and behave as they do, you are providing them with the means to effectively learn. This kind of learning is based around self-discovery as opposed to complying with driving instructor's demands.
It is this kind of reflection that will make you a valued driving instructor because when you start to truly empathize whereby your pupil can actually SEE that you are recognising how they feel, then it fosters a working relationship that is based around trust and understanding.
BIG TOM offers driving instructor training from £10/hour to develop the effectiveness of your working relationships with your pupils. Be brave and start to see how you can serve your pupils so much better.
Call 0800 689 4174 to see how we can start helping you
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