"Inappropriate discussions" between pupil and driving instructor

"Has it?  What's happened?"
Bella was mumbling to herself, speaking her thoughts unintentionally.
"That's a stall Bella, put the handbrake up that way you won't roll backwards." 
Katie knew to be careful at this point as Bella tends to be emotional when handling failure.  Bella did what Katie asked and put her head down towards the steering wheel.
"I'm so sorry Katie."  Katie sensed that Bella was far from alright.  What was the time?  5.45pm  They were still quite some way from Bella's home and needed to be heading back, what with the evening rush hour traffic.
God, it was a miserable evening Katie thought to herself.  She hated this particular day in the year in any case, but when it was drizzly like this, it just made it all so much worse.
"I'm not sure I can do this," Bella interrupted the gentle pitter-patter of rain on the roof of the driving school car. "It really is too much for me."  Bella raised her head from the steering wheel; Katie could see her eyes were watery.  Bella often cried on a driving lesson, but of late, it was becoming more frequent.  Katie kind of expects it to happen each time they see each other now.  Bella is a young, pretty, 17-year-old with her whole life ahead of her, but she is revising hard for exams at the moment.  Apparently, her Dad is putting a great deal of pressure on her and Bella went to some length on the last driving lesson, telling Katie how it makes her feel.
Katie took a deep sigh and tried to formulate a sentence of encouragement not least because, as harsh as it seems, they needed to get going to be back in time.  Katie did not want to be late; she had a date with her Dad.  Every year she would put on his favourite perfume that reminded him of her Mum.  She would make a special effort with her choice of clothes.  And she had already bought the rose which was in the boot; ready to lay on his grave. 
'My lovely rose,' her Dad used to call her, how she missed her Dad.  He died 13 years ago; the Doctor rather hesitated before nodding in response to Katie's question: "Did he die of a broken heart?"  Her Dad used to say that he was the happiest man on the planet with 'both of his girls'.  When Katie's Mum died in a car accident in the summer of 2005, Katie knew that Dad would struggle; his grief was so strong that Katie never felt like she got the chance to come to terms with her Mum's sudden death. 
When the police arrived at the family home, Katie wanted to protect her Dad.  He cried in front of the policewoman.  He uncontrollably cried.  Katie had never seen her Dad look so helpless.  The policewoman had a tear roll down her cheek; Katie will always remember that day.  The hug that policewoman gave Katie that day went beyond the call of duty, "Look after yourself" had been her last words to Katie before turning away and walking out the front door.
'Look after yourself,' easier said than done.  Katie lost both of her parents in under a year.  When her Dad died, at least she had some warning it was going to happen.  When she walked towards his hospital bed, if he was awake, his eyes used to light up when he saw her.  One day, he was so ill, that when she arrived, he looked at her and lowered his gaze towards his body and she just knew from that moment that he would not make it home again.  She so loved her Dad.  He meant the world to her.  When her Dad died, as in, when he literally died, she couldn't let go of his fingers.  The man who had spent his entire life loving and caring for his daughter and wife could not fight on anymore.  She had never known such a gentle, kind and thoughtful man as her Dad.  When he smiled at her, and hugged her and made her a cup of tea, it made her feel like she was protected.  His 'lovely rose' lost a big piece of her heart that day when she held his fingers for the last time. 
"The thing is Katie; how do I know if I can do this?"
Katie was suddenly pulled back to reality with a shock.  "Sorry?  Do what?"
"Drive.  I'm useless."
"You're not useless Bella."
"I feel like I'm never going to be able to do this," 5.48pm Katie noticed, "It's what my Dad says, I let him down so much."
Katie turned to Bella.  'Oh Bella,' she thought, 'You have so much to look forward to.  You will find someone special, possibly marry, perhaps have children.  You have your work ahead of you, relationships, new homes, and yes very likely a new car or two.'
"Do you feel like you let him down, Bella?"
Bella turned to Katie.  "Yes I do, the way he looks at me.  He doesn't say anything nice to me; he just compares me to my brother and says how disappointing I am to him."  Bella looked deeply into Katie's eyes. Katie could see the slightest hint of tremor of her eyebrow.  This was hard for Bella undoubtedly, and this was not easy to hear either. 
Katie was tired; she was emotionally drained not just from work but because of the significance of the day.
"Do you think he loves you, Bella?"
Bella turned away from Katie and looked out the windscreen.  It was still light outside because it was July.  Traffic was busy, there they both were, sat in a car, on a hill, feeling pretty sorry for themselves for entirely different reasons.
"I... I...." Bella was finding it difficult to respond to Katie.  Katie sensed this was awkward. 
"Parents just want what is best for their children Bella; it may....."
"I don't think he does though," Bella fiddled with her fingers in a nervous, awkward way.  "My Dad has all the time in the world for my brother; Dan can't do anything wrong.  He's better than me in everything.  I just feel so useless all the time."  Bella started to cry. Katie handed her a tissue.  She glanced at the clock.
"Listen to me, Bella.  I loved my Dad with all my heart when he was alive, I'm just about to lay a rose on his grave, and I miss him so very much, more than I can express to you right now."
Bella was pinching the tissue into a little twisted knot, licking it and wiping the mascara from under her eyes using the mirror to help her see.
Katie continued, "I meant everything to my Dad when he was alive.  The idea that your Dad doesn't care for you is just not how it goes."
"How do you know that?"
"Because Dads love their daughters Bella!"
"Mine doesn't."
"He does Bella. You just don't know it yet."
There was a long silence.
Katie looked at the clock, 5.53pm.  She knew that even with her driving they were going to be late.
"Can I suggest that we swap over and I drive us home just so that we get back in time?"
"Fine, if that's what you want."
They swapped over.  The journey back was in silence.  Katie felt conflicted in what was happening.  She glanced down to the clock as she pulled into the street where Bella lived.  6.09pm
"Listen Bella. I'm sorry for what I said about my Dad, it's just that," as she pulled up to the house and stopped, Bella interrupted "It's fine", rushed out the car, and slammed the door shut hard.  She was far from 'fine', it was far from 'fine'.  Bella slightly turned towards Katie as she put the key in the door; she had tears rolling down her face.
Katie looked in the central mirror at herself.  'My lovely rose' she thought.






The following excerpt is from an article in the DIA magazine "Serious misconduct complaints against Instructors increase" by Frances Sherlock on 14/04/2019:

The ADI Code of conduct is clear and states that instructors should:

• Avoid inappropriate physical contact with clients
• Avoid the use of inappropriate language to clients
• Not initiate inappropriate discussions about their own personal relationships and take care to avoid becoming involved in a client’s personal affairs or discussions about a client’s personal relationships, unless safeguarding concerns are raised
• Avoid circumstances and situations which are or could be perceived to be of an inappropriate nature.

Encouraging new thinking

A challenge for driving instructors can be the pre-conceived ideas that pupils sometimes have of how they are expected to drive.  It is natural for pupils to feel the need to copy how friends or family drive because that is what they consistently observe.  

"Would you drive in the snow?"  I like this kind of question as it stops pupils in their tracks and makes them think.  Another one I like: "Is there a limit as to how long you would drive for?", our young drivers don't tend to link the mental effort of driving, tiredness that creeps up over time, and the increased risks that bring - many would not associate any risk of constantly driving all day.  "Would you be prepared to overtake on a single carriageway road?", will get them wondering what the theoretically 'correct' answer is.

Going back to the snow though, it would be nice if your pupil started formulating thoughts around compressed snow through the weight of the vehicle, turning to ice as temperatures drop, which then creates risk due to lack of traction.  I would suggest that it is a chain of thinking that is not necessarily a given for some pupils.  In much the same way that thicker fog decreases vision which should result in lower speeds is not a given - it may be for you as a driving instructor, but it won't necessarily be for a pupil.

So for early beginner pupils ask them to visualise the following.  Let them know that all the following is complete imagination so that they can picture what you are explaining.

Imagine it snowing while they are driving.  A passenger sits on the roof of the vehicle with a bucket of grit - I personally like grit as you can see the colour of grit against the white of snow although I'm aware there are technical differences in literally how grit and salt react at different temperatures.  This is a visual example.

As they drive around, the passenger is throwing grit around the car on to the road.  As the pupil comes up to a right turn on either a major to minor "T" junction or a mini roundabout, the pace at which the car turns right should not make the passenger fall off the roof of the vehicle.  The path the car takes means that as the passenger is throwing grit around the car the position of the car is bang on, the pupil is not cutting corners or the white blob.  Let that sink in.  It starts to formulate this idea of the dynamics of forces playing on the vehicle when it is changing direction, and speed and position.  This chain of thinking is not a given.  Mention that before they start to drive the car into that new road, their eyes must look into that road to make sure that it is clear for them to proceed.

I would suggest to you that although this is completely make believe and arguably nonsense (if it were snowing they would not even be able to see the white paint at the junctions necessarily), it does start to make essential connections in the mind.  

For any PDI's reading this blog, pupils will not necessarily make connections between the speed they approach the right turn, how tight it is, how busy it is, what the vision is like (of the new road) and the possible practical consequences this has on stability/traction.  Please don't read this and now assume that all pupils won't, but be ready for the fact that many will not make that connection.  I would suggest for early learners, proactively bring up this subject to allow the thought to embed in the brain.

[Any frequent reader will know why I have chosen turning right.  But for new readers to this blog, turning right is increased risk generally speaking.  Regardless whether we be thinking of learner drivers or not, statistically, it is where the increased risk is.  Turning right across oncoming traffic - it is where it is all going on (not exclusively but frequently), and driving instructors should always keep that at the front of their minds.]

Driving instructors victimised with malicious complaints

How refreshing it is to read the balanced article in the latest ADI News (Issue 4 2019) regarding "Serious misconduct complaints against instructors increase".  I would imagine for a driving instructor association it will be deeply troubling to see the number of complaints rise in the way it currently is.  For my part, last year I booked myself in for a Safeguarding course which I am looking forward to attending in a couple of weeks.  I would encourage any instructors monitoring to at the very least consider making some time in your diary for courses of this kind.  

But what I mainly found encouraging to read in the article is the recognition of malicious complaints.  I won't bring up the details again on this blog because I have given the background information at least twice previously in other blogs, but I was publicly called racist on social media because I dared to insist on seeing the provisional licence of a pupil.  The mother was so beside herself at this request, that even though not a single penny crossed hands between pupil and instructor, she still found it acceptable to attempt to rubbish the name of my driving school by saying my request was racially motivated.  Appalling, utterly shameful behaviour from the mother which for some reason our society finds tolerable; a point I do not understand.  

I listened this morning to a podcast where Douglas Murray talks about the equally shameful quality of journalism surrounding an interview with Roger Scruton.  It transpired that the interviewer was somewhat economical with the truth of remarks made in the conversation surrounding homophobism.  Murray proposes to introduce a mechanism by which people who make such slanderous remarks of fake racism, homophobism should themselves be subjected to criminal charges of equal weight to the false allegations they have concocted.

Having been on the tail end of a malicious allegation, which I sincerely hope no reader on here is subjected to, I can wholeheartedly agree with Murray's sentiments.  It is too easy for people to make false allegations, and there really should be at the very least a possibility of committing a criminal offence by anyone who chooses to take such action.  Choose they most certainly do; the mother in my example had no earthly reason to make her remarks that she did.  She never claimed that I had uttered a racist comment towards her daughter.  She didn't even voice any complaint with me at the time, formally or informally.   Instead, having concluded that my request to see a provisional drivers licence, can only have been related to the colour of her daughter's skin; she some weeks later decides to express her conclusions on social media.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  All this does in my mind is to increase the likelihood of having in-car training video recorded.  I wonder whether the mother would be so quick to raise her allegations of racism when faced with the prospect of a criminal conviction as my conversation with her daughter could be disclosed in a criminal court due to the recording of video evidence?

But even with that in-car conversation recorded it still does not stop people like this mother coming to their conclusions about the motivation of others.  I told her that my request was a legal requirement, but that made not the slightest difference in her mind.  In the mind of the mother, her daughter was prevented from doing what she wanted to do (take a driving lesson), and ignoring the reasons given by me as a DVSA qualified driving instructor, she knew better and concluded that the only possible reason for my request, must be related to me being racist.  I repeat that the mother did not allege that I had verbally made one single racist remark to her daughter, it was only due to my actions of asking to see the provisional licence that made me racist.  

It is fundamentally wrong in my opinion that people like this mother can go around creating racially motivated allegations and expressing them on public forums with no legal accountability for their reckless behaviour.  Although I invited this particular person to report the incident to Police and/or report to the DVSA, she did neither, but that should not prevent me from being able to take criminal charges against her wilful, malicious remarks.

Nudge

There is a barely perceptible force being placed on us when it comes to penalising poor driving.  When dash cam footage shows some pretty poor driving on social media, it has almost become the norm for someone (perhaps more than one) to ask the question: "Have you reported that to the Police?"

Serves you right for uploading it one could say.  It's an interesting little 'nudge' that is developing.  Society self-regulates by way of independently recording and then as the need arises send it digitally to the police - who needs traffic police?  This link here might be of benefit if you find yourself interested in these matters.

It is becoming the norm now to crowdfund where friends ask very politely for you to donate to their given cause; it need not be charitable it can be literally anything.  Good luck with any notion of declining!

When a chap came around ours to supposedly give a quote for some work in the house, it was masterfully handled to not be a question of price; instead, the obstacle was when he could fit us in.

PDI's don't get invited to share their prior driving or teaching experiences to adapt the duration of their driving instructor training hours; there is no possibility that the fixed hours the provider thrusts upon the unfortunate PDI will not all be required.

My business experiences this in reverse where the consumer is placing clear expectations of results (namely the passing of the driving test) regardless of their previous driving experience.  

Both of those last two examples are equally objectionable as far as I can see; either of the two parties involved is being reckless about the task in hand.

How to perceive the silent pupil

That image that we all see in print once in a while of someone waving in the sea.  It turns out they're drowning.

Have you ever walked passed any of these vast office buildings that have mirror-like windows?  How easy it is only to consider our perspective.  Unbeknown to us, behind those mirror windows, are hundreds, possibly thousands of office workers - we have absolutely no idea of their existence and assume no-one is there.  Very curious.

It is so easy to make assumptions when we work with our pupils.  Unless they offer us a window into their thoughts and feelings, we have no idea what is going on inside their head.  Driving instructors will often express their frustration of pupils who seemingly don't get what they are saying.  Try not to rush too quickly into conclusions when you get no insight into their thoughts.

In the absence of any communication from a pupil, we have no idea at all how much they are grasping.  It is just as dangerous to assume they have learnt something as it is cruel to believe they have not learnt something.  The fact is of course, if our pupil is not answering questions, or expressing their thoughts we don't know the level of understanding.  

This is why some pupils take a driving test and don't progress forward in the middle of a junction to turn right when they get a green light.  It is why some won't slow down for speed humps, or give way to a pedestrian approaching a zebra crossing.  Driving instructors, deeply within their frame of reference where all of this seems so obvious, scratch their heads in bewilderment as to how their pupil can spend as much time as they have doing the driving training and NOT know these basic 'rules of the road'.

Let's take the turning right at a junction example.  

Crossing the path of oncoming traffic is higher risk - does your pupil know why?

There is a difference between the round green light and the directional green arrow at traffic lights - does your pupil know why?

If a vehicle does not drive over the sensors in the middle of the junction before turning right, there will be a consequence - does your pupil know why?

Prior to turning right, a right side mirror check, chin to shoulder observation and then look into the new road should all occur before the car moving off - does your pupil know why?

If you cannot judge how much your pupil knows based on their responses to your questions, don't assume they know - there really are hundreds if not thousands of office workers behind those mirror windows; it's only because you can't see through the window that you are not aware of that fact.

Why does the default position that we take have to be that in the absence of our pupil giving us any notion of understanding at all, that they must already know it?  It makes no sense at all if you think about it.

Print off the driver's record from the direct.gov.uk site which lists amongst other things the competencies - some of them will instantly jump out at you as being of increased risk when driving.  At the start of each week, highlight two of them and make those your 'risk factors theme' for the week. Leave no stone unturned for the selected two, assume nothing, describe everything.  Don't wait for the particular subject or scenario to crop up, cover it proactively.  Does your pupil understand the theory?  If you don't know then have a conversation about shared responsibilities for safety between the two of you.  You cannot start to move through the five levels of verbal instruction if you don't know if they understand what you are saying.  It is not an effective working relationship between instructor and pupil if the instructor does not know how much the pupil is learning.

If they do understand, really understand, then this can be referred to immediately before it cropping up, safe in the knowledge that you have just put your pupil's brain 'in gear' so to speak before it arrives.  If they do not understand, no problem at all, do NOT fall into the trap of moving on, go and locate a good place where this subject crops up.  Demo it by driving and talking.  Get out the car and observe it.  Invite your pupil to video record it on their phone.  

If a pupil of yours takes a driving test and does one of the following: fails to stop at a stop line, tries to turn right or left when it is prohibited, drives through an amber illegally, does not enter a yellow box junction when they should, does not position correctly at a junction, fails to take sufficient observations before emerging etc then it demonstrates a lack of understanding.  Your pupil has not recognised the significance of what you have covered previously.  They have not realised that so serious is the point, that it will fail a driving test because it potentially impacts safety.  You had assumed that they understood the subject when they didn't.  It is dangerous to have newly qualified drivers driving around on public roads when they have either no appreciation of increased risk factors or do not comply with the rules of the road through ignorance.

An Easter Monday test drive

What better way to spend a couple of hours on a sunny Easter Monday than having a little spin in a prospective new family car?

The first thing I should state just for the record is that I'm not in the slightest bit interested in cars.  My only concerns relate to comfort, safety and practicality.  It was these factors that moulded our decision for selecting the Audi Q7 a few years ago; a decision which was just right for our family set up (2 young kids and a dog).  And now we are taking a little look at our options.

From what we can tell, there are many changes affecting the new car market since the last time we were looking.  In the space of about 3-4 years how things have changed.  Gone are the days when you can choose your model, the specification and then purchase it with a 12-14 week lead time.  Currently, with Audi at least, certain models simply cease to be built any longer after 5-6 months of the new build year.  What this means for the consumer is that there are bargains to be had if you show some flexibility on specification, colour etc.  It appears to us that if you were considering updating your family car, there could be worse times than right now.

Prior to the test drive today, we had got our criteria sorted and after my wife test drove the A7 (diesel) we had a fair idea of what we liked.  The only potential sticking point was that we did not want to continue with diesel - it seems to us that they really do want to get rid of diesels at the moment.  As my wife is the main driver of the family car it is important that she is happy with it and so what was left to do today was drive an A8 that has the same engine as the prospective A7.  So we were test driving the engine today and not the car, if you see where I'm coming from.  It is the Sport 55 TFSI quattro S tronic with 340 PS power.... meaning absolutely nothing to me whatsoever.

So off we go in this A8, having been told to not rush, and take up to a couple of hours if we liked.  And we did like I can tell you.  The engine was incredibly responsive, the front end visibly rises on acceleration but it was oh so quiet.  We took turns in driving it and got ourselves a coffee which gave us a chance to check out the driver assistance systems for parking.  It has a lovely 360 degree camera assist showing you all around the vehicle.  On the same subject, it has a nice adaptive cruise control with stop and go functionality and distance control.  It means that when approaching a roundabout with red lights, I found the car started braking automatically, complying with the maximum 40mph signs, it slowed to a tapered and comfortable stop and when the cars in front moved off on a green light so did the car with no driver involvement on my part.  It lets you know when it is happy with your distance between other vehicles.  The pre-sense functionality keeps you positionally correct in lanes.  All of these options can naturally be adjusted to suit your preferences.

But all of that from my point of view was secondary to the drive.  Apparently, there are plenty of colleagues at the showroom who don't like the drive, it not being responsive or aggressive enough for their liking.  It seemed to me to be a dream to drive.  It really was a pleasure.  The performance was breathtaking given the size of the vehicle and this is the same engine that is going to be in our A7 - that will be something else to experience.

It is funny because having said at the start that unlike many chaps, I have very little interest in cars, it is not lost on me how much I actually enjoyed those 2 hours - both as a driver and a passenger.  I guess that says quite a lot about what our German friends have managed to engineer.

In-car technology that prevents speeding

I have often wondered why there is not more of the available technology we have at our disposal to forcibly limit the speed at which vehicles can drive on roads.  Many years ago I mentioned on this blog about using transmitters on the side of the road which engages with a responder in the vehicle thereby preventing additional gas from making the car go over the prescribed maximum speed limit. It strikes me there are specific locations where this would reduce fatalities. 

It seems the EU has other plans for the same objective.  In-car technology will be able to detect maximum speed signs and work in conjunction with onboard GPS software to prevent speeding.  They have given the green light on this notion for 2022, but there appears to me to be a long way to go regarding deciding how to implement the measure.

"What is the speed limit here?" is one of the most common questions asked of driving instructors on driving lessons.  It is a skill to identify maximum speed limit signs in the first place, but a more challenging skill to assess what is the appropriate speed for the driving conditions.

I often refer to this problem in driving as 'painting by numbers'.  I will wait to be told what the speed limit is here and then drive at that speed — not a good strategy for safe driving.  Driving is effortful.  Along with effective observations, calculating the appropriate speed for the conditions is an invisible skill that learners often overlook.  There are others, such as transitioning between different types of driving, eg coming off a dual-carriageway into a residential area.  Making connections between what is around the vehicle and how that impacts on what you need to do shortly is an invisible skill ('awareness and planning' on the driving test sheet).  Accurately reading a country road bend to maximise traction and stability of the vehicle while maintaining efficiency is an invisible skill ('limit points' see page 172 of 'Roadcraft').

There are many of these invisible skills which your average learner will not realise some drivers possess and apply.  We often do not know what we don't know which is why we often underestimate the process of learning.  This point, however, does make for an exciting life.  Could you imagine how dull life would be if all activities that are available for us to learn out there were entirely predictable?  This is why I have great respect for older pupils.  They will be aware of this fact having been on the planet for several decades; and yet they are brave enough to still push the boundaries for self-improvement. I saw a perfect example of this last year while my boys were water skiing.  This elderly chap (perhaps 5-10 years older than me), was practising on the water.  His courage was particularly apparent because it was just him out there on the water, making mistakes, and he was being watched by many spectators, AND with water skiing, a mistake often results in a fall and a timely re-set to get back up on the skis.  With many driving faults (but not all), a mistake does not involve a lengthy reset.  I made a point of speaking to this chap when he eventually got out the water.  He did not need my encouragement of course, as he had already shown his character, but I'm a big believer in giving praise to anyone when it is rightly due.

While it is not yet clear how the EU intends to put their new directive into practice, I do fear for the unconscious message that it gives drivers.  It is this problem I mentioned in my ebook "Reflections of a driving instructor", entirely driverless vehicles is an altogether different prospect to the phases we will go through before arriving at that status.

Some drivers will interpret the maximum speed limit as just the default speed to drive at because once there, the onboard camera and GPS software then kicks in and keeps things safe.  No, it won't.  All it will do is prevent the driver from continuing to apply gas to exceed the maximum speed limit.  But some, dare I say many, will not see it like that.  Even now, many pupils consider a maximum speed limit as an instruction, to which they have to obey.  They see national speed limit signs, work out what that is for the road they are on and the vehicle they are driving, and then set to in blindly accelerating to that speed.  This won't win me friends I'm sure, but it is driving with indolence.  It takes the thinking effort out of the activity.

I hope I'm wrong, but I rather suspect this new initiative from the EU will compound this problem.

Stand......STILL

We've just returned from a 'passing in parade' at Harrogate where the Army Foundation College is located.  It is a very impressive provider of training.  It is subject to OFSTED inspections, and perhaps unsurprisingly scores 'outstanding'.

Perhaps that might be a little disingenuous of me, but I do say it for a specific reason.   Listening to the Major speaking it was quite clear that 'fall out' rate is an essential measure for the establishment.  Within six weeks of brand new "Junior soldiers," they had lost 14 from 268.  He was gutted but not surprised.  People will put themselves into situations that they soon realise are beyond their comfort or capability levels; he appeared to be suggesting that the vast majority abort because they are just not ready to be leaving home yet.  Pupils learning to drive also fall into a similar trap of literally having no apparent idea of the task in hand; they find they are in a learning environment which they have little understanding of how it can be effective.

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I've always said the easiest pupil for driving training is a military pupil.  They have the self-discipline to pay attention, listen intently, and they recognise (possibly through previous painful military experiences) that it is ultimately in their interests to engage and apply effort.  

At Harrogate, I rather took the Major's assertion of the importance to learn how to stand still as a quip.  When we went on the parade ground and heard staff shout "Front rank, stand still" while he moves to the middle rank to get them aligned straight - boy, does that make the hairs on your neck stand on end? 

  

We have so many parts of our society demonstrating their right not to conform, behave with individual flair and stick their fingers up to order or convention.  As I type, there are protesters of all ages causing severe disruption on bridges in London while our police sit by and watch.  Our MP's in the House stick their fingers up to any notion of serving the public who vote them into their position.  While driving in Grantham this week, two young lads on a moped overtook us in a dense residential area, and while doing so, the passenger turns to my pupil and I and sticks up a middle finger.  Off they continue, riding on the wrong side of the road, with no helmets on, at high speed.

Stand.......still.  It is a short command, expressed very loudly with authority, unambiguous and we should not forget, the consequences of not doing precisely that would be profound.  Military personnel that I have had experience of training in driving are without exception, polite, respectful, hardworking and engaging.  In contrast, some civilian pupils do not look me in the eye; they often struggle to string a sentence together (don't get me talking about this need to insert "like" several times into every sentence).  They do not understand how to help their cause, for example, they will not engage in resources that I provide for them, or they cannot think through their emotions and express inner thoughts.  They appear to me to not be practised in thinking, evaluating and drawing conclusions.  It comes across as sullen but is heartbreakingly sad.

  

Pupils of all ages will instinctively, overestimate their current driving ability (if they have any previous experience), underestimate the task in hand, and have unrealistic expectations about the effort required to overcome adversity, persevere and inwardly grow.  From my experience, what differentiates the younger pupils is their apparent lack of spirit; some do give off an air of hopelessness. 

But with military pupils, they hit the ground running.  When they get in my car, they have previously engaged with all the pre-course resources.  It is almost as if they are running on some superior battery strength that the civilian pupils do not possess.  They shake my hand, look at me, they can express their feelings, and they seem to have more energy, vitality, one might say, purpose.  These military pupils are practised in learning.  They know how to learn.  They understand the importance of not just knowing the rules of the road but complying with them.  Military pupils do not drive at 33 in a 30 as civilians do.  There seems to be an appreciation for the connection between training and competence.  So many civilian pupils, especially younger males I have noticed, do not appear to be able to make a connection between how they practice/train and the resulting consequence.  The 'magic wand' of driving training as I have referred to it previously.  

"I'm taking no responsibility for recognising that I have weaknesses in my ability to do x, I have no desire to understand the reason why it is important to be able to do x and therefore I do not appreciate what is the consequence of not being able to do x."

And yet, how unfortunate it is that not only do those pupils still expect to get a full drivers licence (despite being given professional feedback of their weaknesses), but they very often have a parent or perhaps two who are reinforcing this unrealistic expectation almost as if the flaws do not exist.  How utterly bizarre.  There is a disconnect between normal behaviours of right and wrong where people are held to account for their actions.  It is almost as if there is no benefit of the values in a civilised society.  It surprises me not in the slightest that there is this educational gap between male and females where males are lagging; many that I see in my car have no sense of self-worth, they can't even effectively communicate a thought, let alone read my resources or write in their pupil handbooks.  Read?  Write?  Think?  

"When can I go to test?"

Lou Lou, G and the custard creams

"Yea but mine gets angry," Lucy interjected on her best friend Georgia, "She just gets really angry with me if I don't instantly get it?"

"Honestly?"

"Totally G, she has made me cry on a couple of occasions."

"But why though Lou Lou?  Christ that really makes me angry."

The two friends were at Lucy's Mum's house, relaxing after some revision they had done for the mocks coming up.  Lucy was making cups of tea for them.  She had to take care with Georgia's, not too strong or she couldn't drink it.

Georgia was a bit further ahead with her driving lessons because she turned 17 before Lucy.  There was a bit of a competition going on in their form about who could pass their driving test first.  Lucy knew that she didn't stand much chance, she has only just started looking at parking up and reversing where as Georgia and a few friends have been talking about them for a while now.

"I wish I knew G, it's like she has got a grudge against me.  I think she thinks I'm thick."

"No way Lou Lou - I can't believe that."

Lucy really loves her friend Georgia.  They have been best friends since they met up in primary school.  Lucy often thinks that the day when Georgia came into her class for the first time and needed a friend to help settle her into the school, was the best day of her life.

She passed Georgia her cup of tea, always leaving the teaspoon in, Georgia liked that; she smiled at her friend, "Thanks G, I don't think I'm stupid, but my instructor sometimes makes me feel it."

"Thanks Lou Lou, a nice cup of tea for the girlies!  You got any biccies?"

"Mum got some custard creams I think."

"Custardo creamy weamys!  Yes please."

Georgia loves her biscuits with a cup of tea; Lucy knew her friend well.  It always makes Lucy happy to see that her friend could happily eat 3 or 4 biscuits but remain wafer thin.

"Maybe she's stupid Lou Lou - have you ever thought of that?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well if she's making you feel inadequate, perhaps it's because she isn't very good at her job.  It happens.  Brain surgeons have to start somewhere you know?  They have to kill a few patients first before they get any good."

"That's a really nice thing to say; I'd not thought of it like that.  No, I think it is just me and doing those parallel parks.  God, I have nightmares about them.  I hate them," she passes her friend the pack of custard creams, "I don't even really know why we do the stupid thing."

"Thanks my little thin friend, " Georgia often referred to Lucy like that, it made Lucy feel good, "'Cos it's in the test."

"Well it needs to be taken out the test then 'cos it makes no sense to me.  Why do we reverse behind a car like that, when we could just pull up forwards directly behind it?"

"Well my instructor said something about when you do it for real between two cars, it's hard to squeeze the car in going forwards.  He let me have a go once, and it is hard Lou Lou.  The back bit sticks out."

"Ok, but when I'm practising, I do it with one car, and I don't know why we don't just drive forwards, kind of behind the car.... you know?"

"Oh right.  Yea, I think they start off doing that just to get you used to it.  But eventually, you will do it between cars.  Blimey, did she not tell you that?"

"She just tells me what to do in a firm voice.  'YOU ME ME YOU,' then sometimes she says 'LEFT RIGHT RIGHT LEFT', 'one turn Lucy, just one turn, no more - no less'..... God, I can see her face now."  The girls look at each other and laugh when Lucy puts on this fake stern face like she is about to pass wind.

"Mine just leaves me to it."

"I wish mine would.  How much is yours?"

"He's £35."

"Yea well mine is only £27."

"But if you're not happy with her Lou Lou?"

They settled down to watch some trashy tele before Lucy's Mum was due to get home in 35 minutes. 

The dreaded B word

You may have noticed that I've managed to not refer in this blog, thus far, about Brexit.  Readers of this blog might be here for many reasons, but Brexit is not one of them.  But, if you dare, read on.

I've come to realise having invested many hours observing the behaviours of the UK media and MP's how fragile is the entire structure of 'order'.  At times, it leaves you utterly dumbfounded that such incompetence is not only seemingly tolerated but permitted to continue.

Of course, things could change, how things could change in these moments of fragility.  But if there is one thing to be very proud of by being British, it is our individuality.  And good for us!  Many countries across the globe will know of our weaknesses in the times of our Empire, but history also shows us what potential can convert into power with some British spirit.

I think there is probably a good reason why 3 MP's I instantly recall having got into a spot of 'legal' bother about formally disclosing driver details when their vehicle was speeding.  They do not like their shortcomings to be exposed in a manner that loses face.  And I believe it is this precise institutional problem that is causing "Parliament" to act in the way it is.  In short, they are, quite literally, untouchable.  They will not be held to account, and their personal views, in their minds can be entirely justified - no matter of the circumstances.  It permeates through the House from top to bottom - they are so wrapped up in their feelings of self-righteousness that they are unable to perceive how the public is observing their incompetence. 

In any other walk of ordinary life, this is intolerable behaviour but the "Westminster bubble" appears impenetrable; "Westminster fortress" might be more apt.

While they are all busily comforting their inner consciences, they have little regard for the impact on UK business, economy, dignity or preservation.  Their repeated inability to effectively act does little for the country they serve.

And bear that word "serve" in mind when you consider the duty they have that provides them with the near on £80,000 salary they draw from public taxpayers.

I resist the temptation to start forecasting how events will unfold.  What a sorry mess we find ourselves in, and I rather suspect there will be a consequence to this debacle.   What troubles me is that while these people in privilege drawing their 80k salaries continue to obstruct Brexit, there are thousands of UK citizens (possibly hundreds of thousands)  desperately suffering for a variety of reasons - and that, I find, intolerable. 

Nomina facit, negotium conficit

It would be oh so very convenient if I were to relay to any PDI's reading this blog a concatenation of events which will in all likelihood result in a driving test pass or fail.

I know how we humans do like to seal the deal.
  
Fellow driving instructors who are most assiduous in their duties all seek to understand what are the ingredients for success in driving tests.  I'm confident that some like to portray an imperious hauteur who desire no more of such things; there is no mystery, only mastery.  I beg, with lowered eye level and humbling obsequiousness, to differ.

Once in a while, when the Gods desire to lighten my life, I find myself working with a pupil of incredible talent.  There is no puffery here or unnecessary grandeur; I do mean that these moments in time are spectacular.  I tell my kids, wife, work friends that I have witnessed something exceptional.  But it does not in itself result in a driving test pass.

Similarly, if I cast my mind back about eight years, a kind and gentle couple entered my life and added some sunlight to the proceedings.  The female of the couple was shy, introverted, nervous, prone to anxiety attacks, unassuming and pretty fearful of driving.  She passed first time, while her confident and very able husband failed.  Oh, the drama.

Do you ever listen to a song, look at some art, read poetry and freeze in awe of the magnificence?  Hair raising, goosebumps, tear-inducing moments.  I see this in my pupils.  Just as with creative artists, it always surprises me how these pupils take the talent given to them for granted.  It is a talent of that I'm sure; you could say a gift.  I listen to their stories, and they live the same lives as we all do; there is no different upbringing or particular circumstance that gives them some advantage in life.

If you can sing, you can sing - so please do sing.

And some will, and do, and they will in time I'm sure, flourish - with or without a full drivers licence.  But when I witness brilliance which is shrouded in self-doubt and loathing, I will encourage.  There is nothing false in my words.  It isn't unkind or disingenuous; I only have a limited amount of time on this planet, and I can't bear to see raw, unmitigated talent going to waste.

Thought and patience goes a long way

Mick and Lisa meet up most weeks on a Tuesday and 'offload'.  They are driving instructors and realise that to maintain their respective marriages it is better to chew the cud together once a week rather than bore their partners with all their woes.

Mick has been working hard with a particular pupil for over a year, and this pupil has come up in conversations with Lisa before.  Lisa knows this pupil well despite having never met her before.

The thing is Lisa; I'm not sure she will ever be able to do the parallel park?

Why do you say that?  Lisa knows Mick well.  Often there can be holes in his thought processes where he jumps to conclusions that Lisa would not do.

Mick replies: Because I've been working with her on this for so long, I kid you not, we must have done over a hundred together, but she still makes errors like she's just had the subject introduced to her.

Lisa takes a sip of her drink thinking to herself how much she hates the reverse parallel park.  The thing is Mick, does it matter?

Mick looks at Lisa, he thought for a moment she was joking.

Well, er, yea, perhaps it just might if she gets it in her test?

And perhaps she won't get it in her test; Lisa looks him in the eye.

This is where I struggle in this job Lisa.  The DVSA in their infinite wisdom tells all of us how important it is to teach beyond the test, make sure our pupils are ready for life after passing the test.  The thing is...

Lisa has heard Mick talk like this many times; she interrupts him: Mick, listen, I know you like to fish, but what kind of fishing do you like?

Mick is grateful for the change of subject, and he immediately pictures himself relaxed fishing at his favourite spot:  I like fishing down by the river.

Not at sea? 

Oh God no, I couldn't do that, I hate boats, makes me feel sick.

Hmmm, do you ask this pupil how she feels when you mention about her doing a reverse parallel park?

Oh yeah, I know she suffers terribly with it.  I feel sorry for her Lisa.  She does feel sick.

Why's that Mick?

No idea.

And yet you still ask her to do it?

Well of course, how else is she going to learn to do it; she needs to practice it again and again.

Does she?

Well yea, she must be able to do everything that might come up once she has her licence, everything.

Do you think she will be doing many reverse parallel parks, Mick, once she passes her test?

Mick puts his drink down and looks at Lisa.

She's a good pal he thinks to himself.

Ooooo I knoooooow

Incandescent in rage this mother was.  

I got three messages in one day from a lady who I'd never met or spoken to before, nor had anything at all to do with her daughter's driving training.  She was desperate to tell me how this driving instructor had not given her daughter an iota of praise or credit; her daughter was done with him, and this lady was going to tell me, and everyone else she rang, all about it.

Thankfully at no time did she disclose who she was referring to.

The problem was that this awful instructor (apparently) had booked up a driving test for his pupil.  So Mum was now ringing around driving instructors (this was where I came in), telling them all her tale of woe, and wanting them to take her daughter to her pre-planned driving test.

"She can drive, she drives lovely."

"I was warned by my friends about this chap, but I thought, no, I will give him the benefit of the doubt..... what a mistake that was".

"She's had enough of him; she hates her driving lessons with him".

Do you remember Cybil on the phone in Fawlty Towers?  "Oooooo I knoooooow".  When mothers rage like this, how good it is to say "Oooooo I knoooooow".

A familiar tale that driving instructors across the UK will have heard many times is when the relationship between instructor and pupil deteriorates, BUT there is a driving test booked.  "Hmmm....... you do know that you can take your precious little one to do her test in your car?"  [Insert fingers in ears].

This issue is due to parents, and I'm sorry ladies, but it is nearly always mothers in my experience, who pre-book driving tests before the driving ability of the son/daughter warrants it.  If the taking of the test is such a 'guaranteed success' as they would have us believe, tell them to get their young one to take the test in their own car.

The problem is exacerbated by pupils and instructors attempting to predict learning progress 1, 2 or 3 months down the line.  Ironically, the "provisional" booking of a driving test in the diary will in itself, for some pupils, affect the rate of any future learning; why continue to put the required hardship of effort in when you think that regardless of competence you will still be going to test?

Why does this happen so often?  I rather suspect it will be a variety of reasons.  Parents can sometimes have a greater desire for their son/daughter to have a full drivers licence.  Perhaps there is a deep-seated loathing or perhaps distrust of driving instructors.  Maybe the Mum or Dad had a bad experience when they learnt to drive.  Maybe money is tight, and there is little finance for further driving training.  It could be that there is a perception that all driving instructors string their pupils along, fleecing them of their hard earned cash.  Parents may feel there is a need to be seen to be 'present' in the process to avoid the driving instructor from plodding along with no great urgency.  Perhaps the instructor is not clearly communicating progress or assessment to the pupil and/or parents.  It is possible that the manner in which the instructor is communicating driving ability is for some reason putting the assessment in doubt or causing resentment.