Taught to swim.... with love

I was a late learner for swimming.  I can’t put an age on it precisely but I was old enough for me to still be remembering some 30 years later, the utter feeling of desperation I had, at not being able to swim.  And I really do mean desperation.  I was completely distraught.  All my mates were swimming, I knew that I was the odd one out, and I knew that everyone around me, in my inner circle, wanted me to learn how to swim.  But I just could not do it.  I couldn’t breathe you see.  So I tended to spend much of my time underwater, occasionally popping up gasping for air, to then drop down below again until the next crisis of needing a breath of air came along.  I can still picture myself as I write, standing up with arms outstretched, willing myself to swim.... I knew what I wanted to happen, I just didn’t know how to achieve it.  Now that truly is frustrating.

This is not a good learning experience, you could not call this ‘effective learning’.  This is the stuff of mental scarring, this kind of emotional baggage sits with us for years and years.  It may not expose itself in a knowing way, I could live my life for many years not even knowing it was there, but that doesn’t mean to say it is not affecting me, it just means I don’t realise it.  What effect will it have on my attitude to learning something new, or my confidence levels with challenges, or inner feelings of self-doubt in my capabilities, or ability to share difficult experiences with others.

Do you know what cracked it in the end?  A ‘Butlins’ holiday with my Grandparents.  My Grandad, who I loved dearly, took the time and trouble to teach me over the period of the holiday.  I went into that holiday not being able to swim, I came out the other end of the holiday ready to conquer the world – the gain was far more than just ‘being able to swim’.  My Grandad literally changed my life in the space of a week.

Just as a little add on to this, my Wife and I took some swimming lessons at our local pool when we were in our mid-20’s.  Although we could both swim i.e. not drown if in the deep end, we could not swim any more than a length, without needing a breather.  THE defining thing that we were told to do? Goggles! Wear goggles, so that your head turns in and out of the water while you swim (front crawl), and identify the ratio of strokes to breaths to suit you.  I kid you not.  We were swimming batches of 12 lengths before you could say “I now know how to breathe while swimming”.  

We have since spent the rest of our lives happily swimming a mile at a time (64 lengths), in about 40 minutes or so (as I’ve got older it is getting longer), and I sometimes have to wonder what those early years of trying to learn to swim were all about.

As far as I can tell, and I'm happy to hear others opinions on this, it comes down to the ‘conditions’ to learning.  By that I mean, giving very careful thought about how you like to learn.  So in my example of swimming, my Uncle tried earlier to teach me and I hated it, absolutely hated the experience.  My school took me swimming once a week, which did little to teach me how to swim.  The conditions were not in place to facilitate the process of learning.  And all of us have different needs for those conditions.  My Grandad achieved what he did, because I loved him, I trusted him, I would have done anything that he told me to, and I was very happy in his company, so I was fully motivated, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Now I would suggest that identifying what are the key things that are going to help you learn to drive are as important.  It may well be trust in your Driving Instructor, it could be talking through a previous nasty traffic accident that you witnessed, it may be the need to identify key weaknesses and discover your own solutions (think “goggles”), it may be about nerves, anxieties, lack of confidence, feelings of loneliness, not feeling ‘safe’ as you learn – and as you can see from above, I can so relate to all of those.

But what I genuinely believe it is NOT about, is price.  I honestly do not think this has anything to do with how cheap you can get a driving lesson for.  Let me put it another way, it’s my belief that unless you pay attention to the ‘conditions’ as I’ve mentioned above, you could get your driving lessons for FREE, and yet you would still struggle to learn to drive.  

Overcoming difficulties in learning experiences has got little to do with monetary gain, and everything to do with ‘how’ you learn.  I was taught how to swim from my Grandad with love, you need to learn to drive with care and attention to HOW you like to learn..... that should take priority over ‘price’ every time.   

 

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