Friday 6 December 2019

Raining behind my eyes

While approaching a zebra crossing, 55-year-old driving instructor John attempts to help his pupil Sophie:

"You see the pedestrians on the left Sophie, approaching the zebra crossing?"
Sophie rolls her eyes and draws a heavy sigh: "Yes, thank you, John, I do see the pedestrians on the left.  Do you though, John?"
"It's possible that they may cross in which case you will need to pause."
"Not until they are ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY on the crossing thank you John."
John makes a mental note to go over that knowledge gap with Sophie.  As they draw nearer, a young child from the group breaks free from holding hands and runs towards the crossing.
"Slower Sophie, brakes.... brakes...."
John uses the dual-controls brakes pedal near his feet.
"Get off me!"
"Sorry?"  The car comes to a controlled stop.
"You just touched me!"
"No, I didn't, I just used the brakes to slow the car down for that young lad."
"But I could sense through my foot that you had done that, and I don't much appreciate it."
The pedestrians began to walk across the zebra crossing, and Mum puts up her hand towards John, and mouths slowly and silently "Sorry".  John smiles and raises his hand towards her.
"That is so gross," Sophie interjects, "do you have no morals at all?"
"I'm just acknowledging the mother Sophie, that's all."  Sophie began to move the car off again.
"Yeah, right.  If that's what you want to call it.  And you really shouldn't assume the gender of the little one either John."
"What do you mean?"
"You called the little one a "young lad", didn't you."
"Because he is Sophie, you can tell he is."
"No you can't John, and you really should try harder not to allow your white male privilege to discriminate against innocent passers-by who have done absolutely nothing to deserve your oppressive bias."
"What is he if he's not a boy, Sophie?"
"Well that is a good question, John, and maybe you should start asking yourself that kind of question before you make your assumptions.  How do you ALSO know John, that is the mother of that child?  There you go again making assumptions.  And what gives you the right to smile and gesticulate towards her?"
"Well she said 'sorry'"
"Did she though?"
"Yes.  Why don't you pull over Sophie, as I'm sensing that you are not happy about something."
As Sophie pulls the car over she says "Yes, that's right, subject me to more of your passive-aggressive adulting all in the name of 'driving instruction'."
"Why do you say that?"
"You assume that I haven't seen the pedestrians.  I had John.  If you had just kept quiet and allowed me some personal space I would have handled that all perfectly well without any "help" from you.  I may have been too young to prevent you all from ruining my generations' lives in the vote, but I'm not too young to have a voice now John."
"The vote Sophie?"
"Yes, you know, when all the reckless old people in this country decided my destiny for generations to come, without giving me any say in the unmitigated disaster of doom that you have created."
"Me?"
"You and old people like you, John."

John sat back, looked out at the rain falling on the front windscreen and felt it starting to rain behind his eyes.  He began to daydream about having a lovely meal later with his darling wife.....

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